AD30 V
Aroostook Dirty 30
Oh cool, you're a marathoner or badass ultra runner!
Sweeeeet, you've done a million obstacle course races, because you think you're one Tough Mudda Humpa, bub.
You've read the news stories, or maybe you saw a youtube video, or heard whispered in hushed tones within your running community about this crazy race up in northern Hicksville that you don't even have to pay for!
And now you're here, the "official" website of the world's worst 30 mile run.
You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll quit. Our DNF rate is 50 percent for 4 years running.
This race is so bad, that it's damn near a miracle if you even make it to the start. Our DNS (did not start) rate is like, 90%, dude.
Now that we've really sold you…..
TO ENTER
Send a humorous handwritten letter(decorated), and a check for $30 to:
Kale Poland
10 Mitchell Place
Laconia, NH 03246
EVERYONE WHO TOES THE START LINE GETS A FULL REFUND.
If you are someone who just wanted to say that you signed up to sound sexy on Facebook, that's O.K. You're money will fund our Rock-n-rolla status at every club in town the night after the race. SO THANK YOU!
For questions, find our Facebook account AROOSTOOK DIRTY THIRTY or email kalepoland@yahoo.com
FINISHERS 2013
Lillian "The Terminator" Porteus
Lillian "The Terminator" Porteus
Stephen "Pepe Lepew" Assante
Amy "Split Chin" Poland
STILL CLEAN
-Michelle Roy was yanked from the bushes at mile 4
STILL CLEAN
-Michelle Roy was yanked from the bushes at mile 4
-Beau Taylor and Adam Murchison enjoyed each other's company after they were too pooched to go beyond mile 15
Sunday, December 29, 2013
2013: The Death of Frosty; the Rise of The Outbreak
The sun was already coming up, and the 2013 race was just 4 miles old, when we legitimately lost Michelle Roy... an annual AD30 starter, and Finisher back in 2011.
I stood on the Route 1 bridge, overlooking the Aroostook River, desperately trying to see glimpses of color or movement in the thick brush. Moments were tense as we called her name for what seemed like an eternity. No response. Had the river finally claimed a victim, similar to the moose of 2011?
Eventually she was recovered, and learning of her decision to quit, we were free to unleash the fury on the remaining 5 participants. This would be the nail in the coffin for river running in the dark at ad30. A staple of AD30 every year, it has been deemed just too damn dangerous.
Julia Bayly, a first-time TMB, set about on a lunge-fury-from-hell crusade, torturing the racers at the Aroostook Snowmobile Bridge Crossing(11 mile mark). Two racers, Beau and Adam, would suffer through the mileage back to Mojo from the bridge and bail on the race....just in time to watch Lilly hammer out some dumpster pulls before embarking on the last half of the race.
Beau and Adam would be the last to drop. Amy and Stephen, the remaining racers, would stagger through the rest of the race, just pacing themselves along, and putting one foot in front of the other.
As Amy finished with just minutes to spare before the cutoff, I watched Frosty melt into the pavement angrily.
The pumpkins were smashed, revealing their prize for lasting through the most torturous 30 miles known to man...but something else sprang from the mystical pumpkins.
A contagion that pops up just once every 5 years.
Each racer who toes the line at Aroostook Dirty 30 V: Rise of The Outbreak, begins dead, and races to Life.
All racers show up dressed like a zombie.
Who lives, and who stays undead?
Start training. Your life depends on it.
SEPTEMBER 27, 2014
**all photos courtesy of Julia Bayly
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
What IS this "Dirty 30", anyways?
Beau "The Main Street Nightmare" Taylor's sweet new AD30 ink.
This blog doesn't get updated often.
Before we almost killed Kyle... before a trio of participants carried half-decomposed moose carcass out of the darkness alongside the Aroostook River... and before we had dudes running down Main Street in Presque Isle, barefoot and bare-chested carrying a snowman, we needed to drum up propaganda to get people to the starting line. It is now safe to say the race is it's own propaganda.
Now, the ever-expanding facebook community away from Aroostook County keeps throwing the question out:
"What IS this 'Dirty 30', anyways?"
My first reaction is always to laugh. How do you put into words what happens on that weekend in September every year?
You're going to run 30 miles. You're going to lift, drag, cry, laugh, swear, and probably quit. We have a 47% finisher rate, all time. Other than those things, I cannot tell you what's going to happen. The personnel may change a little from year to year, but the spontaneous nature of the course and the race volunteers, called TMBs(Torture Maid/Men on Bicycles), guarantees a completely different event every year, and an experience that will be unforgettable. We offset the cost of driving to Aroostook County by making this event free. To sign up, simply send a funny letter of intent to kalepoland@yahoo.com
Stay tuned for 2013 rules...located on the sidebar of this blog!
kp
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