AD30 V
Aroostook Dirty 30
Oh cool, you're a marathoner or badass ultra runner!
Sweeeeet, you've done a million obstacle course races, because you think you're one Tough Mudda Humpa, bub.
You've read the news stories, or maybe you saw a youtube video, or heard whispered in hushed tones within your running community about this crazy race up in northern Hicksville that you don't even have to pay for!
And now you're here, the "official" website of the world's worst 30 mile run.
You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll quit. Our DNF rate is 50 percent for 4 years running.
This race is so bad, that it's damn near a miracle if you even make it to the start. Our DNS (did not start) rate is like, 90%, dude.
Now that we've really sold you…..
TO ENTER
Send a humorous handwritten letter(decorated), and a check for $30 to:
Kale Poland
10 Mitchell Place
Laconia, NH 03246
EVERYONE WHO TOES THE START LINE GETS A FULL REFUND.
If you are someone who just wanted to say that you signed up to sound sexy on Facebook, that's O.K. You're money will fund our Rock-n-rolla status at every club in town the night after the race. SO THANK YOU!
For questions, find our Facebook account AROOSTOOK DIRTY THIRTY or email kalepoland@yahoo.com
FINISHERS 2013
Lillian "The Terminator" Porteus
Lillian "The Terminator" Porteus
Stephen "Pepe Lepew" Assante
Amy "Split Chin" Poland
STILL CLEAN
-Michelle Roy was yanked from the bushes at mile 4
STILL CLEAN
-Michelle Roy was yanked from the bushes at mile 4
-Beau Taylor and Adam Murchison enjoyed each other's company after they were too pooched to go beyond mile 15
Friday, December 30, 2011
A Challenge Awaits
This year, I stood at the starting line of the Aroostook Dirty 30 and stared through a skull mask at 9 individuals toting life preservers and small packs. These "Dirties" had been training all year to run 30 miles of trails, roads, and seemingly never-ending challenges.
There was nervous laughter and an overwhelming sense of dread in the air as myself and the others in the Torture Crew eyed them in silence.
1 Dirty had finished last year.
1 was just a teenager.
4 had run a marathon before, 5 had not.
Throughout the course of the day, the athletes were put through the ringer with calisthenics, swimming, running, and mental torture.
I remember standing from afar and looking down on the 1st mile marker in the predawn darkness. All 9 participants were standing by a river, encircled by our Torture Crew, getting yelled at while they did pushups and burpees. I recall thinking,"there is no way in the hell Navy Seal training is harder than this."
The event proceeded to go downhill from there, with every mile worse than the next.
As the day grew longer, and Dirties began to drop like flies, I became more and more awe-inspired by the human spirit and determination to finish a goal by any means necessary. The athletes were dog tired.
As 2012 approaches, resolutions will be made and broken, but one thing will be guaranteed.
A challenge waits for you.
By the numbers, there are 30 miles of Aroostook County trails, uncountable challenges, curse words, and about 10 people who spend all year looking forward making your life suck for 8 hours.
You can't train for the Aroostook Dirty 30. You don't know the course, and you don't know what we have in store for you.
You can only step out the door every day and do your best, and hope that on September 22, 2012, you have the mental goods to persevere.
Happy New Year from the Aroostook Dirty 30!
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