AD30 V

AD30 V

Aroostook Dirty 30

Oh cool, you're a marathoner or badass ultra runner!
Sweeeeet, you've done a million obstacle course races, because you think you're one Tough Mudda Humpa, bub.

You've read the news stories, or maybe you saw a youtube video, or heard whispered in hushed tones within your running community about this crazy race up in northern Hicksville that you don't even have to pay for!

And now you're here, the "official" website of the world's worst 30 mile run.
You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll quit. Our DNF rate is 50 percent for 4 years running.

This race is so bad, that it's damn near a miracle if you even make it to the start. Our DNS (did not start) rate is like, 90%, dude.

Now that we've really sold you…..

TO ENTER
Send a humorous handwritten letter(decorated), and a check for $30 to:
Kale Poland
10 Mitchell Place
Laconia, NH 03246
EVERYONE WHO TOES THE START LINE GETS A FULL REFUND.
If you are someone who just wanted to say that you signed up to sound sexy on Facebook, that's O.K. You're money will fund our Rock-n-rolla status at every club in town the night after the race. SO THANK YOU!

For questions, find our Facebook account AROOSTOOK DIRTY THIRTY or email kalepoland@yahoo.com




FINISHERS 2013
Lillian "The Terminator" Porteus
Stephen "Pepe Lepew" Assante
Amy "Split Chin" Poland

STILL CLEAN
-Michelle Roy was yanked from the bushes at mile 4
-Beau Taylor and Adam Murchison enjoyed each other's company after they were too pooched to go beyond mile 15

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Ode to Aroostook Dirty 30



Written by Barb Hrubesh, Overall Winner of 2010 AD30. She missed 2011 and wanted to be a part of it by writing about her experience in a song!

A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How running used to make me smile
And I knew if I had a chance
I could make the people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for awhile.
But torture maidens made me damn every step that I ran
Mojo's wasn't the last step, Kyle couldn't take one more step
But for this race I couldn't train
Through fog and bogs and sewer drains
No guts, no glory and no brains
The day the runners died


Bye bye ultra runners goodbye
Dodged trip wires and leapt fires but the race wasn't done
Eating Mcgriddles and drinking without any fun
Singing this will be the day that I die

(skip next verse because I couldn't think of anything good)

Well, for 10 miles we've been on our own
And hoping that the TM's have drowned
But we couldn't get that lucky
The TM tried to wear them down
As she made them run all over town
But she couldn't break you and me
And while going through the muck
Barb and Kyle both said _uck (yuck )
And Kale became nonplussed
When we left mile 20 in the dust
And when we rode horses in the park
Back at Mojo's, there stood Mark
And we sang dirges as we ran
The day the runners died

chorus

(skip this verse too - dammit - I'm a runner not a poet!!!!!)

Barb be nimble, Chris be quick
Kyle jumped over the candlestick
because fire is Kate and Kale's only friend.
And as they told us to run
Our fingers were waving (well only one)
No angel born in hell could break that satan's spell
And as the bikes spun in the night
I heard Kale laughing in delight
And Kate was ready for a fight
The day the runners died


Chorus


I met a girl who tortured runners
And I asked her for some mercy
But she just smiled and turned away.
So I went to Mojo's to talk to Mark
Because his soul didn't seem as dark
But the man said he couldn't help.
And in the streets the children screamed
The runners cried and the quitters dreamed
Not a word was spoken
Could it be spirits were broken?
The two runners had such fun
Barb H and Kyle Washington (okay -horrible rhyme but too bad)
Say get up wimps and just run.
Today is your day to die
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