AD30 V

AD30  V

Aroostook Dirty 30

Oh cool, you're a marathoner or badass ultra runner!
Sweeeeet, you've done a million obstacle course races, because you think you're one Tough Mudda Humpa, bub.

You've read the news stories, or maybe you saw a youtube video, or heard whispered in hushed tones within your running community about this crazy race up in northern Hicksville that you don't even have to pay for!

And now you're here, the "official" website of the world's worst 30 mile run.
You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll quit. Our DNF rate is 50 percent for 4 years running.

This race is so bad, that it's damn near a miracle if you even make it to the start. Our DNS (did not start) rate is like, 90%, dude.

Now that we've really sold you…..

TO ENTER
Send a humorous handwritten letter(decorated), and a check for $30 to:
Kale Poland
10 Mitchell Place
Laconia, NH 03246
EVERYONE WHO TOES THE START LINE GETS A FULL REFUND.
If you are someone who just wanted to say that you signed up to sound sexy on Facebook, that's O.K. You're money will fund our Rock-n-rolla status at every club in town the night after the race. SO THANK YOU!

For questions, find our Facebook account AROOSTOOK DIRTY THIRTY or email kalepoland@yahoo.com




FINISHERS 2013
Lillian "The Terminator" Porteus
Stephen "Pepe Lepew" Assante
Amy "Split Chin" Poland

STILL CLEAN
-Michelle Roy was yanked from the bushes at mile 4
-Beau Taylor and Adam Murchison enjoyed each other's company after they were too pooched to go beyond mile 15

Thursday, January 20, 2011

New Letters/ Note From the Head Dirty

Well, we've got some real runners up in this beatch.

If you're offended that I just said beatch, drop.
You're going to say worse during the event.
You're definitely going to hear worse from your TMBs out there.

A refresher...TMB= Torture Maid on a Bicycle. They'll be around. They make the rules.
And if you don't listen, you're just adding distance to your race.

I'd say we have an almost even split of people that are experienced marathoners to the inexperienced. 19 Dirties in total. We are pushing race max. I am going to have to see about the field limit.

Another refresher: in this event you will find NONE of the following:
aid, sympathy, mile splits, t-shirts, people cheering you on, or a feel-good vibe.
There's no loud speakers playing Maroon 5 or Shiny Happy People Holding Hands.

Welcome to the hardest 30 miler in the country. Yes, I'm going there.
Are you?

Happy Dirty March....
krp

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I would love the chance to test my limits physically and mentally in the Aroostook Dirty 30. I am a long distance runner and have raced in many races including marathons. My motivation is to not only finish the Dirty 30 but beat Susan Plissey....just sayin'.
Michelle Roy

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i used to be a division 1 track athlete, but got injured. Doc said i should try golfing, i laughed. i do run, at least 10miles a week, not together though. im into crossfit training which would be your type of 'dirty' training and i love it! i moved here last May from Liberty University; where i was a strength and conditioning coach for 9 teams. i love to kick ass, not usually the one getting my ass kicked! im finally healthy enough to start torturing my body again! my husband looked at the site and decided he's a wimp, oh well..just something else ill be better at than him!
Anna
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'm officially crazy for signing up for this one but it's freaken yes freaken awesome. I'm just signing up for my first 5k in Feb which hilarious given the intensity of the Dirty 30. But, I have the drive and ambition to give this a 110%!!!! When I put my mind to something it gets accomplished.
The cut off scares me to the bone! Especially after reading people don't finish. However, it is time to get what I want and push limits for me and only me'!!!!! But, it will great to prove all the Nay Sayers wrong cuz I'm invincible and unstoppable!!!!

I will keep this short n sweet! Let me get down and dirty this September!!!! Heck Ya!!

Yours truly,
Ellisha
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this letter is for the dirty 30, i want to sign up for it. some past experience- tons of road biking, 14 mile xc trail race, 5 mile runs here and there, cpt boot camp, i think im ready for the challenge
-andrew
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Kale, as you probably already know anything that is "Dirty" or called "TITT" I must be a part of. So if it means potential alien anal probing and bloody mud covered freezing bodies clinging and clutching there way through stankholes and root infested trails just to enjoy a cold beer at the finish, Please sign me up... if there is still room available. I may not be the quickest nor the slickest, but participating in a race where I have to repeat, "I Think I Can Lick This" is right where I want to be.
Dan B
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I will be turning 30 this year, so I would like to run The Dirty 30. I
have done hundreds of races, but never a 30 miler. I have never dropped
out of a race. I relish the challenge. Thank you for your consideration.
Susan Plissey
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In person, Jon Kelley bows down on one knee, and "proposes" to join the Aroostook Dirty 30. This, though unorthodox, qualifies him as a Dirty with the rest. May the Torture Maids on Bicycles have mercy on his body....not.
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Ok Kale here it is. I am scared shitless of entering this contest but just crazy enough to push my fears aside and say PLEEEEAAAASSSEE accept me for the Aroostook Dirty 30!!!! Thank you for your time and consideration!! Now please let me get dirty!! Jess.
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After a crazy internal debate...and much self doubt, I have decided to suck it
up and write a letter for this "Dirty 30" you speak of. When I read about your
travels, your adventures, your life, I am so impressed and amazed. You are a
machine!! For that reason, I really doubted that I should sign up to do
something that you designed. But today was the day that mindset changed!! I
could tell you that I had a life changing event, or that I suddenly started
truly believing in myself. Truth be told...lack of sleep and too much Starbucks
French Roast have probably lead me to this decision.
I cannot wait! I love a challenge!! Thanks for creating one!
be well
sarah ellsworth
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to anyone who might care

I am a very dirty boy and sometimes I like it rough! I look forward to getting spanked at the Aroostook Dirty 30!

Dirty deeds done dirt cheap!

best wishes

Gary Allen
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Dear Kale "Tent Man" Poland,

I, Kathryn A. Foster (better known as Kati) desire to participate in your extreme events: Aroostook Dirty 30 and Trouble in Turner. Since I have been in Maine I have heard many endearing stories of the previous Dirty 30, and I too want to frolic through nature and attempt absurd obstacles.

Thank you and have a nice day.
-Kati
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Dude, I was waiting until this race was filled FIRST, and then to beg to NOT be selected!! Who'd want to put up with 30 miles of mud, dirt, sweat, streams, punishment, etc, etc, etc. (Lol...) Ya'll thinking I'm a MAINE-iac or something... I AM... but not a masochistic!!! What would possess ANYONE to try this ridiculous activity ANYHOW?? I think ya'll are NUTS... PLEASE DON'T select me!! :D
as I have too many marathons and ultras to run and NOT ENOUGH TIME!!! I might get my shoes "dirty" or sumtin
-Dave
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Why the heck would I want to put myself through that again? I barely made it out alive the first time. Nearly every muscle in my body was shaking and I could hardly stand up by the end of it. I reeked of the swamp and river I had to wade through, not to mention the sweat and blood that soaked my body. I pressed on through burdock patches, rose bushes, found a tangle of freakish looking prickly vines, at times not knowing if my next step was going to be on solid ground, in a foot of muck, or into a hornets nest. We kept being lead by the starting point and pushed past it as if you were mocking us, letting us think we might - just might - be close to the end when you would laugh like insane sadists and tell us we ain't done yet! My high morale only lasted the first ~24 miles. I wanted to stop and cry so many times, call for a ride, or just find a hiding place to rest my crumbling body.

Why would anyone want to be put through this once, let alone a second time. A second time where it's undoubtedly going to be much more difficult, based on how disappointed Kale was that anyone finished this year.

I guess I've learned something new about myself this year, since I'm bent over waiting to take it again.

Next year's will be twice the race this event was. Like the evil mistress said: "There's no teamwork in the Aroostook Dirty Thirty"! Game on.

Kyle
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Once upon a time there was a woman named Amy who had a fire inside her. She skied, ran, hiked, and biked with wild abandon. Then she got comfortable, got married, and had two kids. Now she watches Food Network, knits, and plays Bejeweled Blitz. But, when she saw the pain, agony, and spirit of this year's AD30 victims, that fire was relit. She wants IN to next year's mayhem, and the opportunity to have that pain and agony inflicted on her.
Amy

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I am SO there! I wouldn't miss it for the world. By next september I should be over the dengue fever I got from crawling through the swamps and that funny smell from going through the river at the sewage plant should be gone. Hopefully the canadians who were sent to spy on us in the raft on the riverbank will have given up by then also. And maybe the hurricane remnants could come a week earlier so we could have that too.
I have a friend in west virginia almost as sadistic as you and she said she would come up and run the ab stations for you because she likes to see people suffer - you, her and Kate should get along fine. At least Mark seems to have some human kindness left in his soul. Not sure if you and Kate have a soul.....
I will be there with my railroad spike and ready to make you work just as hard.
Barb

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When we were running next to the river, we saw a dead raccoon, and I wondered, "Does this foreshadow things to come?" By the eighth mile, I found that the answer was yes. By the ninth, I had to call quits, but next year my goal is half-way. Next time I'll train a bit more... I had a weeks notice. I am glad I will have a chance to try again, keep doing this year after year, and maybe, I too will get... a railroad nail. Oh, and Kale, I take it back, it was NOT easy. And a question, why did we need extra underwear? Keegan

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So Kale....what's this "blog" dealie all about? Is it a particularly wet section of some blowdowns in the woods for next year's AD30 or something? I could handle that...isn't there gonna be anything tough?? You'd better count me in...somebody has to lead all the youngsters around so they don't get discouraged or hurt!

Brent
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I had burdocks in my butt crack, my drenched cotton socks were chafing my ankles and the mud, rain, and river-trudging only added to a level of misery for which I was totally unprepared. I felt a sense of deflation I don’t ever remember having after lacing up my sneakers and “exercising.” I felt fear. Fear of the unknown and that’s usually an emotion I try to avoid by controlling which situations I put myself into. I’m not going to lie to you; I dreaded doing this. The only reason I didn’t shut my alarm clock off and stay in bed that Saturday morning is because I respect the limits to which you push your own body and I not only see you as a role model for my fitness journey, but I see myself as a role model for others on their journeys. If I can’t dance outside my own comfort zone when asked, how can I ask others to do the same?

I can’t promise I’ll finish 30 miles at the next Dirty 30 and I can’t even promise I’ll be better prepared for the course (knowing that a barmy, unpredictable chap like you is planning it again), I can only say I’d like to attempt it again. Chances are, there are 20 other people in better shape than me, who have ten times the endurance I do and actually enjoy that level of twisted, soggy, prickly pain. If you’d like to give others a chance to get pissed at you instead of those of us who already gave it a shot, that’s cool. But keep me in mind as one of your sadistic torture maids on a bicycle.

Renée
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3 weeks ago I never heard of the dirty 30, last Saturday I got my first dose of the " run ". Never thought after trying it one time you could be addicted. So I need my fix next year. Consider this my request to be tortured next year.

Chris
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