Dirty Deeds Run Dirt Cheap, Pt 1, by Gary Allen

Dirty Deeds Run Dirt Cheap
The Aroostook Dirty 30
by Gary Allen

The invitation came in the summer. A running event that required an
essay to enter, no fees and it seems no bull. I wrote back.

Sept 24. Midnight. Driving rapidly toward northern Maine on Interstate
95. Destination Aroostook county. The fog is thick. I can barely see
the road ahead. I have the cruise control set at 79 mph,thinking a cop
might let me off if keep it 1 mph below 80. There are no other cars on the road. Car moose accidents are common in
this part of the world. Neither fare very well when they meet. I am dressed as a
Spartan. I am wearing a dark maroon toga and little else. The heated
seats are toasty on my bare ass. I have Nick Cave cranked on the radio. His dark lyrics make the night and the fog only darker. I figure if I collide with a moose the police will at the very least be amused by a dead roman gladiator
driving a Volkswagen Passat with Nicks riffs..."Just remember that death is not the end,
When you're standing on the crossroads, That you cannot comprehend, Just remember that death is not the end.", playing on the radio. I study the road intently as the the miles click by. I burst out of the fog and suddenly am in Houlton, now I need to follow US Route 1 North to a place called Presque Isle. When I arrive at a few minutes before 4am I have no idea where the start is but being a veteran of many races in strange towns I
search for clues that will lead me to the start. Road Cones? None.
People wearing trash bags? None. Banners? None. Geeks with gadgets?(GPS, fuel belts, i-pods) None.
So I stop at an allnight gas station and convenience store and ask about a place called
Mojo. I also purchase a banana, a coke and a bottle of water, cause the
race instructions say we need to be totally self sufficient. The lady
looks at my costume and with her best cougar smile says, growwwl out the door, take a left, go
thru the light by Walmart then it's on your right sweetie! I was surprised she
didn't ask me why I was dressed like I was and that she didn't ask me to come over to her place, but also remembered that Northern Maine is known for being different and maybe she sees roman soldiers thru here
regularly? I pulled into the dark parking lot and did not see another
person. Strange for a race that would be starting in about 45 minutes,
I decide to pull on some running shorts under my ropes and I don by
battle helmet. I twist the cap of my coke and with a hiss I spray
myself with caramel syrup. For a second I am pissed off to get wet then I
remember this race is called the Aroostook Dirty 30 (Yes. 30 miles!) and
figure my frocks will be damp before days end as the race organizers
also said we needed to be able to swim and to bring a life vest.

to be continued................

Michelle Roy, 3rd Place Finisher 2011, Race Report

4:40 AM: Stop at Tim Horton's 1\10 mile away from start of Dirty 30. Need to use restroom to rid what I think has to be the last of what my body is capable of ridding.

4:55 AM: Listening to Renee rip air out of her buttocks while waiting for the start.
5:00 AM: Ordered to starting line and "introduced" to the TMB's.....wishing I was back in Tim Horton's restroom.

5:10 AM: Start..running in darkness on muddy trails cluelessly heading to the river.
5:20 AM: Meet Kyle (last year's dirty 30 winner) running back to MoJo's with an 8 inch bleeding gash on his leg....huh.

5:22 AM: Instructed to descend down steep, wooded bank to riverside and continue running. Riverside entailed only muck and brush...not to mention slip, sliding down bank into river. Should I put on my floaties??? Thanks for fellow competitor, Jessica, at this point for reminding me every 5 minutes how great of an experience this was.

6ish AM: First torture station. I struggled so bad, my group had to do extra time at this station til I got it right.
6ish-7:25 AM: More riverside trudging then dry land. Hear a drill sargeant in the distance. I'm thinking, "wonder who is training out here?" Then smarts kicked in....."#@!*"

7:25 AM: Second torture station...ouch.
7:40-8ish AM: Run UP Fort road to Nordic Heritage Center. Why enter NHC through the access road when we can just run up the steep downhill hill ski mountain...bastards! Meet Kate at the top who informs me there is Gatorade for us at NHC parking lot.

8ish-9ish AM: Arrive at NHC for Hell Hour and no Gatorade! Challenged and defeated most, if not all, muscles in my body. 9ish-10:40 AM: Run on....arrive at MoJo's not for finish but another torture station.

11AM: Run on...Main street Presque Isle where my vanity sets in. I have to run at a decent pace just in case anyone I know sees me (regardless that I look like the Swamp Thing and am ready to physically collapse).

11:15 AM: Ralph, "See the path off the railroad tracks that goes down to the river? Follow it and swim across. I'll meet you on the other side." Thankfully, Susan was swimming across as well from the opposite direction. Was great moral support except for the fact she had been crying because she missed her grandfather who passed away over 2 decades ago...huh.

11:40 AM: Back at MoJo's to be told I have to do the same loop I just did but in reverse...bastards!

12ish PM: Finishing 2nd loop and told by Kyle to run hard up hill to MoJo's. I want to cry because I feel I can't and am fearing what is coming next. I decide the better choice is to run up the hill. Then Kyle says, "You don't want to be seen walking across the finish line!"

8 PM: September 25, 2011. Registration for 2012 AD30 opens. Will I register...Hell yeah!!
Michelle Roy

2012 Apocalypse Edition AD30 Letters!

Sept. 22nd 5AM Mojo parking lot. Challenge accepted.
Jared Dickinson
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I'd like to start this off with a poem from a movie i love Police Academy 2: Citizens on Patrol.

Jean, Jean...made a machine.
Joe, Joe... Made it go
Art, Art... blew a fart
and blew the whole damn thing apart...

I have been an avid runner for about 6 days now, and I think I am about ready to take the next step. Running an average of 2 miles a day (12 miles total for the year), I have grown tired of the everyday monotony of running without reward. I need a challenge, and hell, if I can run 2 miles, several times in a week, how hard can a 30 miler be? its only 15 times longer than I have ever run, and I am 32 years old! So, if you take my age divide it by 2- you come up with 16. 16 just happens to be divided by 4 equally, so when you divide 16 by 4 you get 4, and that is my lucky number!!! So, with that little math problem solved, its quite obvious why I should be running this race.. I mean its almost like you knew I would be signing up for it.
Also, the other reason I should be in this race is, I have watched the movies Prefontaine, RUN away bride, cool RUNNINGS, AND Forrest Gump. That is four movies with running in it or in the title, how much more training does one need? I am tired just thinking about all the running i have seen...

so, please accept my letter of intent to run this race...
sincerely,

Matt Lindsay

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Well, I guess this is the year to get my ass kicked. After mulling it over I have decided that I will be (if allowed) attempting to conquer the AD30 Apocalypse with the rest of you crazy cats. This is the race of races, not a race for time but a race for completion. The hype of this intimidates me, I have heard horrifying stories of torture, blood, sweat and tears. So the plan of attack is to...Face it. Challenge it. Overcome it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I may regret this, but all I can say is don't kill me, I will most likely have things to do the next day.

Sincerely (with extreme trepidation),

Greg Palm
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So I guess I'm throwing myself into the fires of your hell run. My wife told me that I am crazy and there isn't enough time to train. I said whatever, I have to try it anyway. Again, she said "you're crazy, I'm not gunna nurse you back to health when you are crying about your feet or legs! Kale's gunna have to do it, he put this idea into your head in the first place!" so I guess it's me and you buddy, hope you give good foot rubs.

Beau Taylor
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Kale,

On a whim, that I will regret later, I plan to show up for the run. The past couple of years I have been full of other whims that were really nothing but excuses; half marathons, a Tough Mudder. All chump events done for glory. Now its time for humiliation. I have done nothing to prepare nor do I plan to do much. The tire has yet to be chosen but a picture is forthcoming. In these next eighty days I will try to remove enough grit from my slit to run. Time will tell.

Grady


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To Those Who May Consider This Letter

I have been wondering about this race for a bit now. Thought it could be nice to take a nice little jaunt through the county, and get ragged on by some woods type folk (really the best type of folk). It made me think of something my dad once said. He said "Boy there is going to be a time in your life when you have to do something so heinous and terrible that you will crap in your pants... right in your pants and you wont even care. you wont care because you are in too much pain to realize you just shit in the only pair of pants you have with you. you will crap in those pants and you will move on, you will persevere over those defecated trousers because there is a greater purpose, to do something few have done. I don't know what that thing is but you will know when it comes..."
I believe this is that very event... Though my Dad never actually said those things, if he had I would imagine he would have been talking about this event.... I'm in...It has been a while since I threw up...

-Kyle Winslow
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Maybe it's the wine, but I've decided that I'm finally ready to submit my letter that signs me up for a day of torture... er... the AD30 Apocalypse Edition. While I am lacking the only requirement that I am aware of (the tire), I do have a back-up courtesy of Staples: a calculator that looks like a tire and fits in the palm of my hand (99 cents at Staples for those that are interested).

- Nicole Dubreuil
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I wish to compete in this race..however I noted you already have a Michelle Roy as a finisher. So I think it only fair that if you allow me to race you christen me with a new name. For the entire duration of this race and forever after in regards to the Aroostook Dirty 30 I will be known by this name.

If you accept me as a participant I would appreciate a new name that gives people the impression I have very large breasts.


Michelle Roy from Massachusetts who actually has very small breasts.
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I'm sure that if you look up 'hell' in the dictionary, it would compose of very little... it would look a little something like this:

Hell: pronounced: [hel]
Noun
AD30 2012
'Nuff said

I'm already intimidated by the name... Aroostook Dirty Thirty Apocalypse Edition? At first I was worried that Kale would make us run around with extra volatile nukes strapped to our backs. I was wrong it seems... apparantly it's going to be tires. Every year I seem to come across something dead, two years ago, it was a racoon, and as I stared into that racoon's black, glazed eyes... they seemed to say, "Yeah....you're completely screwed." Last year it was a moose... or at least the leg bones of one. I imagined that my leg would look similar to this one if I continued to do this terrifying race any more... What will I find this year? A fish? A cow? A dog? I guess I'll find out as I attempt to run the apocalypse edition.... I am crossing my fingers that this years event will not involve anything explosive, anything that has an engine, or anything that involves blind-folds. Well I've been stocking up on band-aids, ibuprofen, and other various pain relievers that should (Maybe?) get me through the race... here's to 2012 AD30, I look forward to seeing the various forms of torture that will no doubt torture us throughout the race... see you all in september!

-Keegan Ennis
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Hey kale, this is a letter from Lindsey Mattila: hey sexy, I want to compete in the awesome race known as the ad30. I am Hard core and will dominate all the other bitches out there in my dominatrix outfit. Lots of leather and whips, ohh yah!
-Lindsey Mattila

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So I hear/see that Kale Poland has been waiting looking for an official entry letter from me for the Aroostook Dirty 30, Apocalypse Edition in September. If you remember Kale, I already gave you a "one word letter" late in the afternoon after completing last year's Dirty 30 and after commenting on someone else's FB post...you asked me if that was my entry letter for 2012 and I posted back "yup".

But in case that wasn't enough, here's my follow-up letter. Kale, I intend to again be conquering the Aroostook Dirty 30 this year with....Gusto, waiting for Real challenges from Any tMb's, while Picturing a Yuengling after finishing....as a first time, brand new GRAMPY!! Hope this does the trick for you!
-Brent Jepson

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10 Reasons Why I Am Committing Myself to the AD30 Apocalypse Edition

10. I love Little Debbie oatmeal snack cakes.

9. It's another opportunity to sleep on Penny's super "comfy" pull-out chair-bed and use Newman's shampoo on my hair (yes, I did..).

8. I've been wondering what to do with my old Volvo's tires that are under the porch.

7. It gives me an excuse to be bitchy to my family for the whole month of September... maybe August, too...

6. Boyd.

5. I only lost 2 toenails. This year, I'm going for 4!

4. I need another railroad spike for a special craft project.

3. In what other race, will I be described as "built like a brick shithouse" and take it as a compliment?

2. Lunacy is one of the Poland's best traits.

1. Three words: Gary. Allen. Fishnets.
-Amy Poland

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Nate Berry and Sarah Ellsworth
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Dear Sir,

This email is to inform you that I will be selling my soul and driving 6+ hours to east bumfuck Maine to have my ass handed to me on a rusty hub cap by the AD30. I will take every punishment that is given out and look forward to partaking in this "Make a Wish" event for the masochistically minded.

Chad Peduto
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As much fun as it was to join the tmb side of the race after my dumb-ass fall, I wish to be entered into the 2012 dirty 30 race. The most difficult part will not be training for the event, bit keeping my mouth shut as to not give you an other tmb's ideas on ways to torture us. I pledge to make it at least twice as far next year, if u don't consider me too high of a risk to allow to start.
Kyle Washington
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Michelle Roy merged her letter of 2012 intent into her 2011 Race Report!
Read it HERE
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Dear Kale, Dirty-30 and any other fool possibly considering this race,

I have a love/hate relationship with you. I love to write the letter, talk smack, shop for online for inflatable devices and chafing cream, but I hate the weeks leading up to the actual event. I love being a 35 year old mother of three who signs up for adventure races with her teenage son, but I hate the anxiety, self-doubt, regret and fear that creeps into my head and messes with me. I love that I pushed myself farther than I ever have before, but I hate that I stopped pushing when I saw hot coffee and donuts. I love how liberating it feels to run right through the mud puddles instead of tip-toeing around them and I love being able to get slimy, grimy and gross just for the sake of it. But I hate feeling frustrated, pissed off and in pain. I love preparing my Camel-Bak with my teenage son and sharing the excitement and anxiety of pre-race nerves, but I hate getting up at 4:00AM and dressing myself in the dark, knowing those warm, clean clothes will be covered in muddy sweat, prickly burdock seeds and ATV dust in less than 60 minutes.

I love being one of very few women who have taken the challenge. I hate that I’m one of very few women who have taken the challenge.

I’m writing this letter with resolution that I will push my body to 30 miles next year, as it’s only October and next year’s event is too far into the future to really give it much thought. I’m writing this letter with trepidation and remorse because a year is never enough time to prepare and September, 2012 will be here before I’m ready.

I’m in for AD30 ’12, the Little Debbie Edition, and will be in every year until I push to 30 miles. And after that, I’m taking up knitting.

Sincerely, Renée-Don’t-Yell-At-Me-Chalou-Ennis
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Dear Kale and the rest,

I’m amazed at how insanely awesome the Aroostook Dirty 30 looks—and I’m equally amazed at how willing and excited I am to have the opportunity to participate. This may or may not be because I am currently experiencing what must definitely be post-first-marathon-euphoria, but in any case I would love, if you’ll have me, to submit my intent for the September 2012 Dirty 30. From what I’ve read and seen on the AD 30 blog, it’s apparent that my training better begin right now if I want a fighting chance. I’m ready to do that.
I entertain no notion that this race will be like anything I’ve done before. The marathon I worked toward for ten months and completed last Sunday is a newborn kitten in comparison to what this monster will surely be. But, kittens are not nearly as much fun as monsters. Sometimes, the completion of one goal is just more motivation to begin a new one.

Thank you for your time and consideration! While I’m simultaneously frightened, humbled, and excited, and knowing that I’ll regret saying this eventually but I’m going to say it anyway: bring it.

Other than that, I hope you're having a great week, and to see you and Nicole soon! :)
Renee Poisson
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Gary Allen, 2011 overall winner, included his letter of intent in the final installment of his race report.
READ IT HERE
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Dear Kale,

I hope this finds you well. I am having a difficult time putting into words what I am about to write because the angel on my shoulder is still trying in a last ditch effort to save me from the pain that I am willingly setting myself up for.

So to put the angel’s worried mind at ease, I thought I would give myself a mental reference of how far 30 miles is…it can’t be that far right? Wrong. It is the equivalent of running from my house on Beals Island to Steuben or Jasper Beach, depending on which direction I head after getting over the bridge. Not quite the confidence boost I was looking for.

Then I thought, I’ll just try to remember some of the locations in Presque Isle that Gary Allen mentioned in his account of last years’ AD 30. Surely the hills can’t be that high. And then I remembered the lovely hill that he spoke about with the ski lifts. I remember that hill, but from a different angle. I was on my bike at the top, having driven into the Nordic Ski Center and then biked over on one of the trails, looked down and decided that biking down that may not be the best idea. I even found a picture to reference when trying to remember the little hill and noticed the electrical wires look vertical in the picture…not good. This is still not helping to build confidence.

After a few failed efforts to help myself feel confident that the AD 30 can’t be THAT tough, I understand now that it is EXACTLY that tough… and more than likely worse than what I can picture, based on what former participants have said and from pictures they have posted. When I type in into the address bar on my computer, my muscles now automatically start aching in anticipation.

I have never played catch with an automobile tire; I had to Google ‘burpee’ in order to figure out that it’s another name for a squat thrust; I still don’t know what a ‘whooping crane’ is (according to Google it’s a bird); and I can’t remember the last time I did a bear crawl…But the sentence that keeps going through my mind is the phrase at the bottom of the Dirty 30 poster on the blog site, “this year, a 100 year old man completed a marathon in Toronto. People your grandmother’s age are doing Ironman. Get yourself out of the gutter.”

It has taken me a few days to figure out how to write this. As far as I can tell, the biggest failure would be not trying. So with all things considered (and the little angel on my shoulder screaming louder than ever to run away)…

I would like to submit this as my ‘letter of intent’ to attempt the 2012 AD 30.

Sincerely,

Carolyn Gildart

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i've been putting off the letter because the reason i'm doing your race isn't like the other letters. i've worn a relay for life t shirt for pretty much every race run the last two years. i do it for motivation for everyone running. it's surprising how people stop complaining about the hills or heat when they see my shirtnot that i'd ever compare running a race to the hell of what i imagine going through cancer would be like, but i would stay up all hours when my cousin was diagnosed in high school. she's the inspiration to wear the shirt. i kinda think that if she can get through what she's been through i have no excuse to not give what i've got to finish my race, then go back and encourage others to do the same.

-Adam Murchison

2011 AD30 Recap

Let's just say that the 2011 edition of the Dirty started with a bang.
You could also say it got off on the wrong foot.
Either way, I'm glad no one told the racers to break a leg before the race.

The race got off to a much faster start than last year. The lead-pack TMBs had a hard time staying ahead of the Dirties in the first 10 or 15 minutes. The rainy fall had turned the first mile of trails into a quagmire, forcing the bikers to take risks of totally eating dirt in order to stay ahead of the runners.

Dirties Kyle Washington, Gary Allen, Keegan Ennis, and Susan Plissey arrived in a pack at the snowmobile bridge where Presque Isle Stream connects with the Aroostook River. They were ordered to bushwhack down an embankment to the river and follow along the shoreline until further notice.
The race was just 15 minutes old when Kyle, last year's men's winner, stayed a little too far to the left ,and fell for what seemed like an eternity.
Banged up and bruised, his only major injury was a gash in his thigh, luckily. It could have been much worse.
Just 15 minutes in, and we already had our first racer quit.

The remaining 3 in the lead pack set off down the hill, visibly rattled by Kyle's fall down the now aptly named Kyle's Drop.
A few minutes later, the chase pack arrived and were instructed to carefully go down the hill. None of them looked impressed.

Just a couple of hundred yards later, all were stopped for their first pain station.
A few of us not working the station viewed the scene from above. 9 Dirties on a riverbank in the dark of the early morning, circled by TMBs yelling and telling them to do a range of physical challenges. It looked like SEAL training.

After the TMBs felt they'd worked the Dirties enough, they sent the runners down the river, again, until further notice.
Boyd, Eric Macek, and I stood on the riverbank, maybe a mile away, listening. I could hear the splashing as they drew near, but saw no lights...and then I heard why. "If they're going to f_ck with us, we're going to f_ck with them!" one of the racers exclaimed. I figured they were just referring to them turning off their lights, but when they came into view, I saw something I couldn't believe.

First, Gary emerged from the darkness, clad in his Spartan outfit, which he had actually driven in from all the way from Mount Desert Island. In his hand was the leg bone of a moose, which was really only 90% decomposed. It smelled awful. Susan was next, carrying another piece of moose, followed by Keegan with a clavicle. It was barely two miles into the race and we'd already had a near death of a racer, and dead animal scavengers!

Meanwhile, Amy Poland, Jess Grass, Renee Ennis, Brent Jepson, and Michelle Roy were being attacked by snakes... rather, Amy had a piece of river vegetation wrap around her leg, and absent-mindedly said, "Sea Snake!", which inspired a moment of panic in the chase group.

They exited the river at the railroad trestle, and started running along the rail trail toward Fort Fairfield...they wouldn't get far before it was time to turn right onto the trail heading to Conant Road.
All runners were able to run up the long, long half mile hill that started that trail off. I was amazed. Not many people in an ultra would run that whole thing. Beasts. They hit Conant Road and turned around, making up time on the way back to the rail trail- it was almost all downhill in this direction.

Taking a right back onto the rail trail, it wouldn't be long until they hit their next pain station, where Kate Knowles and Boyd were waiting. I arrived with Macek to see Susan Plissey and Gary Allen throwing a tire at each other. After Kate and Boyd were tired of watching pass, they made the tire an implement of upper-body destruction. Pushups of all kinds tore up their pecs and triceps. This race was turning into a boot camp...and it was about to get worse. Perhaps having a feeling about this, Jess Grass dropped. It was her first real race, and making it 8ish miles was a super job by her.

After the athletes were done at pain station 2, it was time to run to the Nordic Heritage Center- the hardest way possible. They ran up the hill on 167 which seemed to go forever, only to turn left at Quoggy Jo. Running up the ski hill and then through the woods, they arrived in a large field that they would grow to hate over the next hour. At this point, our youngest Dirty, Keegan, dropped. It was a great effort by the young man, who has now toed the line for both Dirty 30s. Brave dude.

They came to the parking lot of Nordic Heritage Center to find a truck full of random heavy things scattered all over the place, and the same people that had hazed them earlier by the river. It was apparent that they were going to be here awhile.
This was Hell Hour, and each TMB had their turn with the Dirties. It was all about physical challenge and embarrassment, and maybe even a little fun, if the attitude was right.

I watched Brent Jepson get pushed up a handicap ramp in a hand-truck, wearing a blue kids' snowmobile helmet and a child's float around his waist. The TMBs watched Sarah Gahagan force all Dirties to bear-crawl up and down a steep hill. We all laughed as racers in twos pulled another one carrying a cinder block around in a trailer. Think Beauty Pageant meets parade. And that was just a few of the nonsense challenges. In between tasks: run laps around the field.

The racers would cover just 2 miles in one hour, even though they were constantly moving. Somehow, the mood stayed upbeat- thanks to the energetic and "Walking Wikipedia TMB" Boyd , who did, I think, everything the racers did, and then some.

When the racers left Hell Hour, the Dirty 30 was approaching halfway complete. Somehow, we still had 6 people left. Everyone was smiling and laughing...and I knew, with mixed feelings, that the Dirty 30 was going to have a lot more finishers than last year.

Down the hill and back to Mojo, Gary and Susan were the first to arrive. They'd been running together the whole race, and knowing what was about to happen, I couldn't wait to see who was going to pull ahead.

A little while later, the remaining 4 began showing up at Mojo. It was at this time that Renee, a 2-time Dirty, pulled from the race. 22 miles. Amazing. To see the improvement of her and her son Keegan from last year's performance makes me so proud. I know next year she will get it done.

A few more tasks and it was time to run...two 4 mile lollipop style loops and this thing was going to be over. At the beginning of the loop part of the lollipop, we separated Susan and Gary. There was a moment of confusion, but they soon settled into their own rhythms. When Gary and I met Susan and her TMB Kate, Susan muttered to Gary "Just wait." I asked Gary if he could swim, and he said,"I think so...if not, I'll just find a couple milk jugs to hold onto."

Good, because he was about to do what Susan was referring to: hike down a steep embankment and swim across the cold Presque Isle Stream. It was a riot to watch from the bridge, this spartan in a helmet swimming across the river.
Running by Bicentennial Park, another race was going on...a sprint triathlon involving kayaks. That race's workers and athletes gave us a funny look. Who the hell was this Spartan, soaking wet and haggard, crashing their race? By the second loop, the word got around that this was the hardcore Dirty 30, and there were cheers abound.
Catherine Packard would later say,"Thanks for making my race look like a wuss event!" Sorry Catherine, I had no idea there was another race going on!

Gary finished at 11:15, and the finish-line party started. This was my favorite part of the day. With every person that finished, the crowd at the end got bigger, and each finisher got a larger reception. 7 minutes later, Plissey arrived, and then Michelle Roy, followed by Brent Jepson, and finally Amy Poland.

Many people will probably read this report, but few will actually understand the magnitude of how special this day was. You have to be there to see the emotional ups and downs that the Dirties go through on their way to the finish line. There is something so inspiring about seeing that point of ignition, when a person is down on themselves, eyes to the ground, walking....and out of nowhere, they choose to fight, and start running again. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

Congratulations to all Dirties, finishers and non finishers. Just coming to the start line took an act of bravery. I know how nervous many of you were. It takes guts to face that fear.
Thank you to all helpers. It sounds cliche to say that it couldn't have been done without you, but that statement is 110% true. I look forward to next year already!

krp

Aroostook Dirty 30 Press Release

Throw mentally unstable athletes, long-distance running, boot camp-type obstacles, and fraternity-style hazing into a blender, and what do you get?
Aroostook Dirty 30.

The race, which starts next Saturday, September 24th, is the only event of its kind, providing an unparalleled mental and physical challenge. Athletes are required to run 30 miles over all types of terrain, and face challenges unknown until they get to them on race day. In addition to these challenges, they have no choice but to deal with the constant barrage of harassment from Torture Maids/Men on Bicycles...TMBs for short.

These sadists, led by Kate Knowles of Caribou, are a mix of the athletes' significant others, friends, and Federal Agents. The volunteers are sworn to secrecy of what's to come by the Head TMB.
She has been quoted as saying: "DON'T TALK ABOUT ANY OF THIS WITH ANYONE !!!!! I'M SERIOUS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AN AD30 RACER FOR ME TO DO SOMETHING BAD TO YOU."

Adventure races and marathons can cost literally hundreds of dollars just to toe the line. The Aroostook Dirty 30 boasts a quality experience for FREE- the only entry requirement being a humorous letter of intent sent to Kale Poland at kalepoland@yahoo.com.
The race is based out of Mojo, Aroostook County's go-to place for bicycling and skiing products.

Last year, 12 registered. 5 started. 2 finished. The race starts at 5am on the 24th and the time cutoff is at 1pm.
For 2011, word has spread, and the race has almost 20 entrants from all over the state of Maine. A spectator friendly section of the race will be held at Nordic Heritage Center from 8-10am. Kale, Kate, and Mark Fullen from Mojo, encourage people to come by the store and see how the athletes are holding up throughout the day.

"I am planning on being there," says Susan Plissey. "I am really scared of Kate Knowles. Michelle and I ran with her... and I think she was practicing for the TMB thing. She yelled at us to stop. She was like, 'ass in the dirt. NOW!' And then she had us do all this torture stuff, and she was diabolically smiling the WHOLE time. Totally in her element."

Perhaps the Aroostook Dirty 30 has begun early.

The Dirty Facts

OK.

I've been drinking too much coffee on this rainy day, and I figured I'd do another update, whereas I hit the woods tomorrow and won't see another piece of technology for 8 days. I don't know a few of the entrants, so I feel the need to repeat a few things. Sorry to those who get the point. I'm paranoid. Blame it on the meth.

I was talking to some County folk the other day, and apparently the event is getting quite the attention up there.

First, the necessities.
I will have a waiver that says all of this, but in a nutshell:
-YOU ARE IN THIS EVENT AT WILL. You can quit anytime.

-You aren't paying for anything, so you won't have aid in the form of food or rescue personnel. This event is done in the tradition of grass roots sports. Friends competing with friends and razzing each other. You can quit anytime.

-This is not a traditional race format, it is a challenge. No matter how fast you are, you will struggle to get under the 8 hour cutoff. I absolutely promise. You can quit anytime.

-This, like any other ultramarathon or adventure race, can and probably will result in some type of overuse injury.

-If you don't have a headlight or an inflatable flotation device large enough to hold you up in the water, we cannot let you start.

-If you have any injuries that keep you from doing any of the challenges, you must let us know prior to the start.

-No race-day entries...meaning you can't show up on race morning and say you are doing the race. We've put time and preparation into each athlete, and it would not be fair to the rest of the racers for you to jump in with the advantage of us not knowing you....that being said, send your email to kalepoland@yahoo.com to enter. Must be humorous.

-4:45am is the pre-race check in at mojo

-Look up towards the top of this. If you aren't under CONFIRMED 2011 ENTRIES, please confirm.

I can't help but wonder how many will actually show.
Last year we had something like 12 entrants declare Dirty, and only 5 started. 2 finished.

It's been brought to my attention that there may be more people working the Dirty than actually running. Awesome. Less chance of something going awry.

Very excited to see everyone. Very excited to see everyone push their limits. Super excited to drink beer with the Dirties after.
Almost time to to knuckle up, everyone.
Get it.

krp

Revisit a Classic

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye off the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive

Risin' up, straight to the top
Have the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

-Survivor, Eye of the Tiger