Sept. 22nd 5AM Mojo parking lot. Challenge accepted.
Jared Dickinson
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I'd like to start this off with a poem from a movie i love Police Academy 2: Citizens on Patrol.
Jean, Jean...made a machine.
Joe, Joe... Made it go
Art, Art... blew a fart
and blew the whole damn thing apart...
I have been an avid runner for about 6 days now, and I think I am about ready to take the next step. Running an average of 2 miles a day (12 miles total for the year), I have grown tired of the everyday monotony of running without reward. I need a challenge, and hell, if I can run 2 miles, several times in a week, how hard can a 30 miler be? its only 15 times longer than I have ever run, and I am 32 years old! So, if you take my age divide it by 2- you come up with 16. 16 just happens to be divided by 4 equally, so when you divide 16 by 4 you get 4, and that is my lucky number!!! So, with that little math problem solved, its quite obvious why I should be running this race.. I mean its almost like you knew I would be signing up for it.
Also, the other reason I should be in this race is, I have watched the movies Prefontaine, RUN away bride, cool RUNNINGS, AND Forrest Gump. That is four movies with running in it or in the title, how much more training does one need? I am tired just thinking about all the running i have seen...
so, please accept my letter of intent to run this race...
sincerely,
Matt Lindsay
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Well, I guess this is the year to get my ass kicked. After mulling it over I have decided that I will be (if allowed) attempting to conquer the AD30 Apocalypse with the rest of you crazy cats. This is the race of races, not a race for time but a race for completion. The hype of this intimidates me, I have heard horrifying stories of torture, blood, sweat and tears. So the plan of attack is to...Face it. Challenge it. Overcome it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I may regret this, but all I can say is don't kill me, I will most likely have things to do the next day.
Sincerely (with extreme trepidation),
Greg Palm
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So I guess I'm throwing myself into the fires of your hell run. My wife told me that I am crazy and there isn't enough time to train. I said whatever, I have to try it anyway. Again, she said "you're crazy, I'm not gunna nurse you back to health when you are crying about your feet or legs! Kale's gunna have to do it, he put this idea into your head in the first place!" so I guess it's me and you buddy, hope you give good foot rubs.
Beau Taylor
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Kale,
On a whim, that I will regret later, I plan to show up for the run. The past couple of years I have been full of other whims that were really nothing but excuses; half marathons, a Tough Mudder. All chump events done for glory. Now its time for humiliation. I have done nothing to prepare nor do I plan to do much. The tire has yet to be chosen but a picture is forthcoming. In these next eighty days I will try to remove enough grit from my slit to run. Time will tell.
Grady
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To Those Who May Consider This Letter
I have been wondering about this race for a bit now. Thought it could be nice to take a nice little jaunt through the county, and get ragged on by some woods type folk (really the best type of folk). It made me think of something my dad once said. He said "Boy there is going to be a time in your life when you have to do something so heinous and terrible that you will crap in your pants... right in your pants and you wont even care. you wont care because you are in too much pain to realize you just shit in the only pair of pants you have with you. you will crap in those pants and you will move on, you will persevere over those defecated trousers because there is a greater purpose, to do something few have done. I don't know what that thing is but you will know when it comes..."
I believe this is that very event... Though my Dad never actually said those things, if he had I would imagine he would have been talking about this event.... I'm in...It has been a while since I threw up...
-Kyle Winslow
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Maybe it's the wine, but I've decided that I'm finally ready to submit my letter that signs me up for a day of torture... er... the AD30 Apocalypse Edition. While I am lacking the only requirement that I am aware of (the tire), I do have a back-up courtesy of Staples: a calculator that looks like a tire and fits in the palm of my hand (99 cents at Staples for those that are interested).
- Nicole Dubreuil
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I wish to compete in this race..however I noted you already have a Michelle Roy as a finisher. So I think it only fair that if you allow me to race you christen me with a new name. For the entire duration of this race and forever after in regards to the Aroostook Dirty 30 I will be known by this name.
If you accept me as a participant I would appreciate a new name that gives people the impression I have very large breasts.
Michelle Roy from Massachusetts who actually has very small breasts.
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I'm sure that if you look up 'hell' in the dictionary, it would compose of very little... it would look a little something like this:
Hell: pronounced: [hel]
Noun
AD30 2012
'Nuff said
I'm already intimidated by the name... Aroostook Dirty Thirty Apocalypse Edition? At first I was worried that Kale would make us run around with extra volatile nukes strapped to our backs. I was wrong it seems... apparantly it's going to be tires. Every year I seem to come across something dead, two years ago, it was a racoon, and as I stared into that racoon's black, glazed eyes... they seemed to say, "Yeah....you're completely screwed." Last year it was a moose... or at least the leg bones of one. I imagined that my leg would look similar to this one if I continued to do this terrifying race any more... What will I find this year? A fish? A cow? A dog? I guess I'll find out as I attempt to run the apocalypse edition.... I am crossing my fingers that this years event will not involve anything explosive, anything that has an engine, or anything that involves blind-folds. Well I've been stocking up on band-aids, ibuprofen, and other various pain relievers that should (Maybe?) get me through the race... here's to 2012 AD30, I look forward to seeing the various forms of torture that will no doubt torture us throughout the race... see you all in september!
-Keegan Ennis
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Hey kale, this is a letter from Lindsey Mattila: hey sexy, I want to compete in the awesome race known as the ad30. I am Hard core and will dominate all the other bitches out there in my dominatrix outfit. Lots of leather and whips, ohh yah!
-Lindsey Mattila
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So I hear/see that Kale Poland has been waiting looking for an official entry letter from me for the Aroostook Dirty 30, Apocalypse Edition in September. If you remember Kale, I already gave you a "one word letter" late in the afternoon after completing last year's Dirty 30 and after commenting on someone else's FB post...you asked me if that was my entry letter for 2012 and I posted back "yup".
But in case that wasn't enough, here's my follow-up letter. Kale, I intend to again be conquering the Aroostook Dirty 30 this year with....Gusto, waiting for Real challenges from Any tMb's, while Picturing a Yuengling after finishing....as a first time, brand new GRAMPY!! Hope this does the trick for you!
-Brent Jepson
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10 Reasons Why I Am Committing Myself to the AD30 Apocalypse Edition
10. I love Little Debbie oatmeal snack cakes.
9. It's another opportunity to sleep on Penny's super "comfy" pull-out chair-bed and use Newman's shampoo on my hair (yes, I did..).
8. I've been wondering what to do with my old Volvo's tires that are under the porch.
7. It gives me an excuse to be bitchy to my family for the whole month of September... maybe August, too...
6. Boyd.
5. I only lost 2 toenails. This year, I'm going for 4!
4. I need another railroad spike for a special craft project.
3. In what other race, will I be described as "built like a brick shithouse" and take it as a compliment?
2. Lunacy is one of the Poland's best traits.
1. Three words: Gary. Allen. Fishnets.
-Amy Poland
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Nate Berry and Sarah Ellsworth
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Dear Sir,
This email is to inform you that I will be selling my soul and driving 6+ hours to east bumfuck Maine to have my ass handed to me on a rusty hub cap by the AD30. I will take every punishment that is given out and look forward to partaking in this "Make a Wish" event for the masochistically minded.
Chad Peduto
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As much fun as it was to join the tmb side of the race after my dumb-ass fall, I wish to be entered into the 2012 dirty 30 race. The most difficult part will not be training for the event, bit keeping my mouth shut as to not give you an other tmb's ideas on ways to torture us. I pledge to make it at least twice as far next year, if u don't consider me too high of a risk to allow to start.
Kyle Washington
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Michelle Roy merged her letter of 2012 intent into her 2011 Race Report!
Read it HERE
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Dear Kale, Dirty-30 and any other fool possibly considering this race,
I have a love/hate relationship with you. I love to write the letter, talk smack, shop for online for inflatable devices and chafing cream, but I hate the weeks leading up to the actual event. I love being a 35 year old mother of three who signs up for adventure races with her teenage son, but I hate the anxiety, self-doubt, regret and fear that creeps into my head and messes with me. I love that I pushed myself farther than I ever have before, but I hate that I stopped pushing when I saw hot coffee and donuts. I love how liberating it feels to run right through the mud puddles instead of tip-toeing around them and I love being able to get slimy, grimy and gross just for the sake of it. But I hate feeling frustrated, pissed off and in pain. I love preparing my Camel-Bak with my teenage son and sharing the excitement and anxiety of pre-race nerves, but I hate getting up at 4:00AM and dressing myself in the dark, knowing those warm, clean clothes will be covered in muddy sweat, prickly burdock seeds and ATV dust in less than 60 minutes.
I love being one of very few women who have taken the challenge. I hate that I’m one of very few women who have taken the challenge.
I’m writing this letter with resolution that I will push my body to 30 miles next year, as it’s only October and next year’s event is too far into the future to really give it much thought. I’m writing this letter with trepidation and remorse because a year is never enough time to prepare and September, 2012 will be here before I’m ready.
I’m in for AD30 ’12, the Little Debbie Edition, and will be in every year until I push to 30 miles. And after that, I’m taking up knitting.
Sincerely, Renée-Don’t-Yell-At-Me-Chalou-Ennis
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Dear Kale and the rest,
I’m amazed at how insanely awesome the Aroostook Dirty 30 looks—and I’m equally amazed at how willing and excited I am to have the opportunity to participate. This may or may not be because I am currently experiencing what must definitely be post-first-marathon-euphoria, but in any case I would love, if you’ll have me, to submit my intent for the September 2012 Dirty 30. From what I’ve read and seen on the AD 30 blog, it’s apparent that my training better begin right now if I want a fighting chance. I’m ready to do that.
I entertain no notion that this race will be like anything I’ve done before. The marathon I worked toward for ten months and completed last Sunday is a newborn kitten in comparison to what this monster will surely be. But, kittens are not nearly as much fun as monsters. Sometimes, the completion of one goal is just more motivation to begin a new one.
Thank you for your time and consideration! While I’m simultaneously frightened, humbled, and excited, and knowing that I’ll regret saying this eventually but I’m going to say it anyway: bring it.
Other than that, I hope you're having a great week, and to see you and Nicole soon! :)
Renee Poisson
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Gary Allen, 2011 overall winner, included his letter of intent in the final installment of his race report.
READ IT HERE
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Dear Kale,
I hope this finds you well. I am having a difficult time putting into words what I am about to write because the angel on my shoulder is still trying in a last ditch effort to save me from the pain that I am willingly setting myself up for.
So to put the angel’s worried mind at ease, I thought I would give myself a mental reference of how far 30 miles is…it can’t be that far right? Wrong. It is the equivalent of running from my house on Beals Island to Steuben or Jasper Beach, depending on which direction I head after getting over the bridge. Not quite the confidence boost I was looking for.
Then I thought, I’ll just try to remember some of the locations in Presque Isle that Gary Allen mentioned in his account of last years’ AD 30. Surely the hills can’t be that high. And then I remembered the lovely hill that he spoke about with the ski lifts. I remember that hill, but from a different angle. I was on my bike at the top, having driven into the Nordic Ski Center and then biked over on one of the trails, looked down and decided that biking down that may not be the best idea. I even found a picture to reference when trying to remember the little hill and noticed the electrical wires look vertical in the picture…not good. This is still not helping to build confidence.
After a few failed efforts to help myself feel confident that the AD 30 can’t be THAT tough, I understand now that it is EXACTLY that tough… and more than likely worse than what I can picture, based on what former participants have said and from pictures they have posted. When I type in
I have never played catch with an automobile tire; I had to Google ‘burpee’ in order to figure out that it’s another name for a squat thrust; I still don’t know what a ‘whooping crane’ is (according to Google it’s a bird); and I can’t remember the last time I did a bear crawl…But the sentence that keeps going through my mind is the phrase at the bottom of the Dirty 30 poster on the blog site, “this year, a 100 year old man completed a marathon in Toronto. People your grandmother’s age are doing Ironman. Get yourself out of the gutter.”
It has taken me a few days to figure out how to write this. As far as I can tell, the biggest failure would be not trying. So with all things considered (and the little angel on my shoulder screaming louder than ever to run away)…
I would like to submit this as my ‘letter of intent’ to attempt the 2012 AD 30.
Sincerely,
Carolyn Gildart
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i've been putting off the letter because the reason i'm doing your race isn't like the other letters. i've worn a relay for life t shirt for pretty much every race run the last two years. i do it for motivation for everyone running. it's surprising how people stop complaining about the hills or heat when they see my shirtnot that i'd ever compare running a race to the hell of what i imagine going through cancer would be like, but i would stay up all hours when my cousin was diagnosed in high school. she's the inspiration to wear the shirt. i kinda think that if she can get through what she's been through i have no excuse to not give what i've got to finish my race, then go back and encourage others to do the same.
-Adam Murchison
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