AD30 V

AD30 V

Aroostook Dirty 30

Oh cool, you're a marathoner or badass ultra runner!
Sweeeeet, you've done a million obstacle course races, because you think you're one Tough Mudda Humpa, bub.

You've read the news stories, or maybe you saw a youtube video, or heard whispered in hushed tones within your running community about this crazy race up in northern Hicksville that you don't even have to pay for!

And now you're here, the "official" website of the world's worst 30 mile run.
You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll quit. Our DNF rate is 50 percent for 4 years running.

This race is so bad, that it's damn near a miracle if you even make it to the start. Our DNS (did not start) rate is like, 90%, dude.

Now that we've really sold you…..

TO ENTER
Send a humorous handwritten letter(decorated), and a check for $30 to:
Kale Poland
10 Mitchell Place
Laconia, NH 03246
EVERYONE WHO TOES THE START LINE GETS A FULL REFUND.
If you are someone who just wanted to say that you signed up to sound sexy on Facebook, that's O.K. You're money will fund our Rock-n-rolla status at every club in town the night after the race. SO THANK YOU!

For questions, find our Facebook account AROOSTOOK DIRTY THIRTY or email kalepoland@yahoo.com




FINISHERS 2013
Lillian "The Terminator" Porteus
Stephen "Pepe Lepew" Assante
Amy "Split Chin" Poland

STILL CLEAN
-Michelle Roy was yanked from the bushes at mile 4
-Beau Taylor and Adam Murchison enjoyed each other's company after they were too pooched to go beyond mile 15

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Aroostook Dirty 30 Press Release

Throw mentally unstable athletes, long-distance running, boot camp-type obstacles, and fraternity-style hazing into a blender, and what do you get?
Aroostook Dirty 30.

The race, which starts next Saturday, September 24th, is the only event of its kind, providing an unparalleled mental and physical challenge. Athletes are required to run 30 miles over all types of terrain, and face challenges unknown until they get to them on race day. In addition to these challenges, they have no choice but to deal with the constant barrage of harassment from Torture Maids/Men on Bicycles...TMBs for short.

These sadists, led by Kate Knowles of Caribou, are a mix of the athletes' significant others, friends, and Federal Agents. The volunteers are sworn to secrecy of what's to come by the Head TMB.
She has been quoted as saying: "DON'T TALK ABOUT ANY OF THIS WITH ANYONE !!!!! I'M SERIOUS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AN AD30 RACER FOR ME TO DO SOMETHING BAD TO YOU."

Adventure races and marathons can cost literally hundreds of dollars just to toe the line. The Aroostook Dirty 30 boasts a quality experience for FREE- the only entry requirement being a humorous letter of intent sent to Kale Poland at kalepoland@yahoo.com.
The race is based out of Mojo, Aroostook County's go-to place for bicycling and skiing products.

Last year, 12 registered. 5 started. 2 finished. The race starts at 5am on the 24th and the time cutoff is at 1pm.
For 2011, word has spread, and the race has almost 20 entrants from all over the state of Maine. A spectator friendly section of the race will be held at Nordic Heritage Center from 8-10am. Kale, Kate, and Mark Fullen from Mojo, encourage people to come by the store and see how the athletes are holding up throughout the day.

"I am planning on being there," says Susan Plissey. "I am really scared of Kate Knowles. Michelle and I ran with her... and I think she was practicing for the TMB thing. She yelled at us to stop. She was like, 'ass in the dirt. NOW!' And then she had us do all this torture stuff, and she was diabolically smiling the WHOLE time. Totally in her element."

Perhaps the Aroostook Dirty 30 has begun early.
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